King of Lists

1. He asks if his mom can watch to make sure he is doing it right
2. He keeps calling his mom asking what to do next
3. He brings a pump, magazine and a bottle of viagra to bed
4. They can't believe they are finally seeing breasts in person
5. She shouts keep that icky white stuff away from me
6. You start the new john grisham novel while having sex
7. He asks you to do a threesome with his blow up doll
8. Keeps humping your leg.
9. She just lies there
10. She brings a coach with her
11. When he asks, "is it in yet?"
12. She tells you that she is saving herself for marriage
13. Tells you this is the first time he has not been with a hooker
14. They finish before you even get started
15. When your excuses have gone from 'headache' to 'new sesame street episode'.
16. You fall asleep.
17. She falls asleep
18. During oral sex..."ow, my eye!"
19. She has a headache
20. Your partner is a jar of vaseline and a baseball glove.